Where Do I Exist???

Childhood flew away leaving her with expectations and dreams of her house, where she will be free to do all she wants, she just closed her eyes and went in her past…“Mama please! You know, you are so sweet”, she flattered.

“No way… I told you not to do that, means you are not going to do it”.

“But why mama? Why always with me?” angrily shouted kashish. “What’s wrong about combined study at friend’s place?” “May be nothing for others, but you belong to a very traditional family and your grandma won’t ever permit you for this”, replied her mother.

“Oh God! She is just a block head”, kashish murmured. “ Stop it, you shouldn’t speak like this rather you should respect your grandma for she follows the cultural rules and regulations of this family, which you seem to break now a days”, she scolded Kashish.

Oh! Go to hell with your conventions in the name of which you all are spoiling my career”.

“Stay in your limits Kashish, you will have to follow these rules until you get your own home…”

Kashish comes back in senses and still thinks about the agony those words created, not once but a number of times. She still remembers how her family members, specially her mother who gave her birth, made her realize that the place where she enjoined her childhood, the place which was filled with her cries and laughter and the place which was unoblivious for her, was not her own home.
Participating in the cultural events of the school and even having a bicycle was against her grandma’s so called culture, and the only reply she usually had for Kashish was. “ You will have to follow these customs until you get to your own home”.

Yes, her dream home, then, became passion for Kashish and imparted her enthusiasm to bear all those cultural boundations as she felt that someday she would have a place, which will give her sense of belonging.

Kashish again avoids these thoughts and returns to her senses. She smiles as all that was a past and the most awaited day her marriage was about to come...

All celebrations done, she entered in her own home and a new life began. Rajeev was a perfect match for her but the interruption of her mother-in-law in their life sometimes irritated Kashish, which she ignored...

Time passed and she started taking part in her daily chores, trying to adjust with her mother-in-law’s rude attitude. But one day it crossed the edge of Kashish’s patience…

“Rajeev, let’s go for a movie tonight, I have been fed up sitting at home”, asked Kashish in a very romantic mood without realizing the presence of her mother-in-law at the door.Kashish, don’t you think you should get permission from me first”, she said in a very sarcastic way.

“Maa, I thought asking Rajeev is enough”, Kashish hardly controlled herself.“Don’t follow only your thoughts, even Rajeev has to get permission from me, but in any case, I Won’t allow you for the night show, do you understand?” she ordered harshly keeping her eyes on Rajeev.

"Fine, we aren’t going anywhere, let’s stop this topic now”, said Rajeev without paying attention to the expressions of his spouse.

“Why Rajeev, what’s wrong in that? We are a married couple and we needn’t ask anybody for going anywhere”, things went beyond her patience...

“May be it’s not wrong for others but my family traditions don’t allow you for it. And look Kashish, forget whatever you had done at your home, now being a part of my house you have to follow these rules”, her mother-in-law strictly ordered.

But Kashish was lost somewhere. The only question in her mind was…
If it too isn’t my own home, then where do I Exist???